The time moves faster than before. The sun is up. Sitting, waiting, my time is up. Over these few days, I’ve been feeling a few ways. Happy, sad, and a deep sadness like no other. And the only way it goes away is you. The only way I can’t go astray is you. The only way a smile is on my face is you. But the simplicity of love is the most diverse. I thought the drugs would ease the pain but it only rains. Pouring down from my clouded judgment. Smoke a bit to ease my mind. But that high only last for a few hours. I wanna get high on love. I want to feel a euphoria like no other. I want to catch chills when I hear your voice, always pick you when I have a choice because you are keeping me alive. Feelings and frustrations.
Life lessons full of faking. Just call me when you making your way home. I want my home to be your home so that if you miss me you’ll see me all the time and every day. You’re my drug. I kiss you to ease the pain. My cloudy judgement ceases to exist. This high from you is like no other drug. The words are hard to come by like shooting stars. But you, you are everything I wanna love. You are everything I want to wake up next to. You are everything I want to cherish for the rest of my life. With you there’s so many thoughts writers block is nonexistent. You are my muse. Days when there is no you I have no sanity. Days when you are not here I can’t think the same way. Your touch, your laugh is everything I want to wake up to in the mornings. I wanna call you in the morning and bring flowers to your job to make up for the fact that I won’t see you until you get home. I’m weak
for you. When you can’t find the words I’ll speak for you. I got your back if you got mine. You are everything. I pray that one day you’re my everything. The aching I miss you’s. The lonely nights. Fear of never loving again. Or the fear that it won’t be mutual. I’m scared of love because, obviously, I can’t decipher what’s real or what’s fake. It’s like I feel it in the pit of my stomach. In my bones. And it’s all a lie. But you don’t love me how I love you. You hold my pumping heart in your hand. But it’s made in China. Or maybe branded by Hasbro. The games you play with my brain send me into a state of euphoria to only be brought crashing into that pillar called reality. It’s like every time you talk to me it’s the best day of my life and when you ignore me it’s October 2nd at 8:43pm, again. That’s the day it was almost all over. Life as I knew it. And some days I wish it woulda ended cause on August 19th I took 22 of the wrong pills. You were my Advil. Also known as my favorite mistake. Thank you for your lessons.