And you drink a little too much and try a little too
hard. And you go home to a cool bed and think,
“That was okay”, And your life is a long line of okay
I should wash these pills down the drain,
But it seems easier to prolong my pain,
Because I know going through withdrawal will
just about kill me.
It seems easier just go on,
Living in ecstasy until dawn
Knowing in the end what will be, will be.
Yet somewhere deep inside,
There’s a little bit of pride,
A tiny shaft of light that still reminds me.
Of the boy I used to be,
When my brain was clear and free,
I’m just not sure that I can be that boy again.
I should lock my words away
Maybe then you won’t stay
And when the morning comes our bodies
won’t be intertwined
It seems so much easier just to hold on
A new body to lay with every dawn
Knowing in the end you’ll shed tears and I’ll be free
Yet somewhere deep inside
To morals I still abide
So “leave” me becomes my precis
I am an echo of the man I used to be
Before I gave into our bodies’ plea
I’m just not sure I can be that man again
I should walk to the mirror tonight
Wash away the façade of a socialite
And drown in my guilt
It seems so much easier to keep drinking
Wasted aspirations, no thought for thinking
Judgement clouded by sensuality
Yet somewhere deep inside
I feel nobody by my side
My soul begins to see
A shadow of the man I used to be
Before I fell victim to temporary glee
I’m just not sure I can be that person again
I should fall into my bed
Deprive My mind of the addiction raging in
my head
But here I sit at 3 am and finally admit to
myself that everything’s not okay
I’m not okay
