Suicidal

I’m not suicidal,

But sometimes, I imagine the world without me

They say that you’re brighter than your darkest days

But sometimes, it doesn’t feel that way

Pain so strong the pills couldn’t even do it

Loved so long, the cuts just got deeper.

I’m not suicidal

But sometimes, giving up is easier than holding on

Busting my ass, and nothing to show for it.

I’m tired.

Fought so hard, lost the battle, and the war

Fought so long, my heart feels like a corpse.

I’m not suicidal,

But I just might be dead inside.

I swear, I tried and tried

But even still, the pain wouldn’t move aside.

Pulled the trigger in Russian roulette,

Bullet left the chamber, but my head, it didn’t hit.

Woke up from a dream, had me wishing I was dead.

Back to reality, and the things still mislead.

I’m not suicidal,

But the pain’s too deep.

I’m not suicidal,

But suicide is eating me.

I’m not suicidal,

But suicide breathes freely.

I’m not suicidal,

But suicide is in me.